Saturday, May 19, 2012

It's the blood


It’s just the blood that bothers me.

How many times do I wake with the dread of blood dripping from my hands and staining the bed sheets? This can not be a normal nightmare, but I dream it every night.  
This morning I woke to find I was washing my hands, trying to remove all evidence of it.

The bruises and scars I can hide or cover, but the blood,,,  it seeps through, it stains, I’m forever washing it away. I have to wash it completely away.  Completely.

But really, I can bear the dreams, it’s this blood I can’t stand.

I hate it.  The way it oozes, trickles and flows so slowly.  The stubborn dried edge it leaves when wiped quickly away, the obvious smears.  My blood drips, pools, it always needs immediate attention if it is not to stain. And now I am getting  very tired.

He will be back again soon, I do miss him, but I can’t reach to stop it spreading.  And I’m getting even weaker.  It’s terrible to think how upset he will be.

I haven’t been able to get free of these bindings, so, at least he’ll know I’ve not been flirting.  I’ll have to stop trying to reach… I’m,  so tired….. I hope he comes home soon … but,    I,    am,    so,    tired…  So tired.       I can’t begin to think of what to make him for supper……

So …  ti . r..ed     ………………………….



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