Friday, November 4, 2011

create a xmas character in 400 words

Vics, Ste and I decided it would be fun if the savages could describe a new xmas character in a writers challenge and the sketchers could then draw the character from those descriptions....  We will see how this works out,  this is my attempt in 367 words.

The legendary Savage xmas fairy.

The name Crystal just sort of felt right on the countenance of the child.  As is the way with pixies and fairies, it was presumed that Crystal would grow to fit the name,. Problem is, fairies and pixies use nick-names.
Bubble-on-the-Wind will be Bubs, obviously a flying fairy, and Rustle-of-the-Leaves, Russ, will be a boy with pixie magic.
It was much too late when everyone realised that Crys was a unisex name.
By then, Crys had grown to be half pixie and half fairy with a bit of magic and flight, but not much good at either.
This gender blend was very difficult so Crys said she was a fairy, even if that meant a lumpy flying, bad magic, ugly fairy.
Worse, nothing went well for Crys in the build up to Decembers as she had to constantly prove that jobs could be done by her pixie/fairy body.
So, “Look what I’ve done!” and “What can I do now?” was Crys’s constant whine.
She really got on people’s tits.
To ingratiate herself into Santa’s favour, Crys habitually batted her gapped eyelashes, when presenting a toy or asking “Can I help? Can I help?” The eye-batting was to distract attention from her fat nose and tiny fairy mouth with huge pixie teeth. These features rose out of her blotched face and everyone knew, even with her plucked out beard, Crys was the workshop’s worst fairy.
This only made her try harder to please, and so she got more and more on people’s tits. Her time in Santa’s workshop was naturally brief but it may interest you to learn why Crys is immortalised in legend.

In her most annoying way, on the busiest eve, of the busiest December, she decided to decorate a pine tree for the workshop.  She badgered and interrupted everyone, batting her eyes and demanding “Where should I put it?, Where should I put it?, Should I put it here? There? huh?, huh?, huh?”
SO,
In homes every year now The Crystal Fairy gets a pine tree shoved between her legs, as a warning to us all,  not to get ugly and be a pain in the arse at xmas.

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