Bindi Teaching ch 12

 CHAPTER 12.

 

IS EVERYONE HAVING FUN?

 

URBAN PLAYTIME

 

I started this whole thing saying how important play is for you and pooch.

 

Playtime is fun time, can be excitement time, but is also the best time for caring, bonding and training.  Below are a few ways we include play in a day.

 

So much of what comes before in this book can be included in playtime so the training does not get too focussed on seriously addressing things that may happen in the very short times you are out and about with your urbanised pooch.

 

Consider making Brushing, health checks, cleaning and daily pooch maintenance part of a gentle play session.

 

BRUSHING PUP

 

In our household when the ‘Brush’ command is given it is delivered as an enquiry, ‘jawanna brush?’ By using no other training tricks than saying that every time and going to where the brushing place is,  pup gets a reward and happy voice praise on arrival and when brush is introduced and again after brushing the first and subsequent strokes.  If at any time pup retreats, we remain calm and await the return, if it comes.  There are treats in play so pup will probably return. 

 

After a bit of persistence brushing is understood to be nice.  Pup knows what is coming and ours often beats us to the brush place to nose the brush before we have even finished saying the brush command.

 

Brushing is a calm time of gentle stroking and calm chatter, pup is not constrained and if an exit is performed mid session, we wait for the return, reward, and continue calmly.  It is a lovely part of the day, and for a hairy dog most recommended as a frequent activity.

 

MAINTAINING PUP

 

We use this approach for things like our ‘clean eyes’ command.  This is helpful for when pup has sore, scratched or mucky eyes, something every pooch will get some time or other.  Good to have a ploy in place to help when it happens.

 

We start the de-sensitising lesson for this at a time when pup is nearby us and in a calm state.  When pup looks at us we praise, we stare back, and say ‘eye’ at the same time gently cradling the mouth from beneath while holding the eye-to-eye contact.

 

On frequent opportunities we repeat this action and slowly bring the other hand towards the eye, retreating if pup shows uncertainty.  After a few progressive attempts over some days or straight away depending on pup, you will able to touch the edge of the eye and drag out the corner muck. (ours licks it as a treat for some reason, never taught that)

If this is not within your sensitivity to touch eye gunk with your finger then do all this but have a cotton bud to hand as you de-sensitise for proximity to the eye using the bud to familiarise.

 

I don’t need to fill pages by repeating the exact same process for getting access to clean the ears, feet, cut nails, squeeze anal glands (yuk), check teeth, open mouth or holding up tail  (for temperature checks). 

 

Sufficient to say the calm, make-it-feel-good slow approach and familiar action is a great way to embed a desired behaviour and save yourself anguish at some future time when you need to remove a burr from fur, get grit out of an eye or clean an ear to stop endless scratching.   I may have said before, it is about building trust.

 

You practiced many ways that trust can be shown and rewarded for different actions.  Now, when one point of trust is thwarted, like if pup resists or refuses, if perhaps you fail to reward excellent behaviour, if you give a wrong command, get cross, yes it does happen, then the wide blanket of other trusted behaviours you share will quickly help heal the small tear made by that little slip-up.  Don’t beat yourself up for a training fail and similarly, show endless forgiveness if pup slips up.

Bindi Teaching ch 13

 

CHAPTER 13.

 

ARE WE THERE YET?

 

THE URBAN TRAVELLER.

 

As much as this book has concentrated on learning urban skills, at some time it will be desired or necessary to have pooch travel further than a walk around your local streets.

Whenever you or I leave our homes for an extended time we know it is probably a good idea to quickly visit the toilet prior to departure.  As owners we should also ensure pup has prepared for their journey too.

If the journey is either by car, bike, bus, train or cab the same thing applies. You want a calm travelling companion. Full bowels and bladders do not make for calm travellers.

Just like you should not get pup all excited jumpy and playful just before a walk and you shouldn't tease it by squealing ‘walkies’ repeatedly as you search for your hat, bag, coat or shoes, then go looking to find where you left the poo bags and lead...  You don’t do that do you?  You don’t get pup all bouncy and then wonder why it won’t behave on lead do you?  So.  Calm diffused preparation and,

WE’RE OFF!

There are three default positions for pup and travel when it comes to machines.  There is the calm desired position, then there are the pups who can’t contain their excitement to get into or onto any transport thing, or it’s the pup who will refuse all attempts of entry to the machine.

So let us understand and work to get the desired position.  What is desired is for the pooch to be willing but not excited to enter the ‘going somewhere good’ machine.  Calmly. 

Again, it is up to us not to prioritise this change in motion.  Entering the car should not be a major event but just another daily or frequent thing we do. 

I guess though I should cover the best way to reduce excitement or fear in pup if it develops into more than a passing issue. 

We simply have to start the process of entering and leaving the car without going anywhere.  Make this activity part of every day, get pup’s car equipment or harness on, get in car, strap in, praise, let pup settle. You can sit in the car for a while as pup settles, then un-strap, exit and go about normal daily activity.  Calmly repeat a few times a day.

Once you are both entering into the machine with no emotional excess, start the motor, pause, see that pup is settled, turn motor off, release pup, exit.  Continue this exercise over a few repeats. 

When pup is comfortable with the motor sounds, move on to making the machine move.  Maybe only to end of your driveway then reverse and exit, over a few days leave the driveway and work towards increasing the distance the car goes, but not allowing pup out of car anywhere until you get back home. 

Pup always stays in car until released and told to exit.  Given possible future adventures when you will never know what, where or when pup will be required to enter and exit the car, it is responsible of us to ensure pup is trained to be calm and acts on command at entry and exit.

What this elaborate process is trying to do is desensitise any excitement that getting into a car or transport may engender.  For example, pup should be in sit and must wait calmly for the command to enter and exit the transport.  This comes with practice and is best repeated to boredom without actually going on a trip.  In and out commands should not generate excitement or anticipation but we want to work towards them being a normal daily routine command with a pleasant consequence for pup.   I have mentioned having patience and persistence before, so I won’t again.

To help with the tedium of training consider if you will what any transport offers an urban pup. One, it’s a different and thrilling or fearful sensation of movement, speedy smells, new noises and seeing many things pass by very quickly. Second, and most likely the cause for future excitement, is every time pooch enters the transport it knows not what exciting sort of place it will end up at!   Anticipation of all this movement and destination can make future entries into the car a trigger for unwanted excitement.

Hence calm gradual introduction perhaps anchored with a settle command is best for urban pooch and a less stressed us.

 Travel is another time to observe your pup.  The solution to help your particular pup is going to be an adaptation of these advices.  It is going to be your choice from your observation of your pooch as to how you implement any training.  Always at the pup’s speed and ability.  

If pup is curious about the new thing you are directing it to enter, a car, bus, train, shopping trolley, whatever, then ensure you remain calm and show it the way in and again show it the way out of this contraption. We do this without any plan to go anywhere, it’s just about getting in and out, first without closing off the exit and then entering, closing, opening and exit.  We are ensuring pup does not associate the space with being trapped in a noisy moving box.

If pooch resists the new space then the use of tempting treats, actions or voice for entry and subsequent distraction by look or touch once inside, followed swiftly by a calm exit, reward and pause, then repeat.  Take a couple of days if necessary until entry is not subject to any stress markers being evident in pooch’s demeanour.

I am currently dealing with Bindi’s excitement when in transit.  She’s a clever girl and knows, from the myriad of micro signals we give off unintentionally, the type of trip we are going on and if the likelihood is we are going to the river walk, dog park or beach. Knowing this and being a gobby little bitch, she whines, yaps, yips and generally makes the journey a pain.

I am trying the following things to reduce this behaviour, I am still learning on a daily basis.

As well as doing the above things I ensure, as much as possible that there is not a toilet needed prior to a long trip. In fact it is not a bad idea to walk pup for a short time before any trip.  Some pups will understand and perform the necessary as a precursor to a trip, other pups will need to be distracted. 

I also make sure that if I am taking the car for a quick shopping journey for milk , bread or a few rapidly acquired necessities, maybe a refuel, then pup comes with in car, sits secured with windows open while I am in shop and comes home without getting out.  This is not teasing the pup, it is showing that being in a car is not a reason to get excited. 

It is critical again we don’t fall in to the trap of telling an excited pooch to shut-up in the car.   Ignoring bad behaviours or a very low-key response with a calm command is best.   Use of hand signal for quiet, stopping the journey until calm ensues, exiting car for a calming sniff walk or returning home without doing the planned dog outing event are all tools of differing impact we have at our disposal.

Of course, just because there has been a toilet opportunity prior to the journey, there may be another required due to stress or excitement, so provide that opportunity if pup is being irrational. 

From experience I know these tools are variously successful but your training armoury is extensive with diverse tools we can use when appropriate, calmly and with persistence.

It is also very likely that you and pup may just get in the car and go, you may experience no poor behaviour and travel will be a non issue.  To be honest, this is just as likely as having an issue so, as always, observe and respond to your pup with appropriate actions for your pup.

I have not yet covered too much about fear of travel as this has not been a common thing in my experience so I have only theory not experience to recommend.  Obviously you will know if pup is frightened of transport. 

My theory for getting an unsure pup into transport is again to use a very gentle and reward-focussed introduction to the process of getting entry into a vehicle.  Much like for the excited pup method above.  In as much as you will still calmly take the kind and gentle step-by-step progression towards a short happy journey away from and back to home.  You can use high value treats and encouragement to temp pup into the vehicle but do not rush the pup to enter.  You may choose to sit in the vehicle, on your phone or whatever until pup enquires or maybe wants to enter and join you. When pup eventually does enter, give proportionate calm praise and comfort and encourage it to stay inside the vehicle by giving some treats, toy or touch.

There is no hurry.  Getting pup over a fear may take many days until you see a change and understand what pup was fearful of. It may fear being tangled in a rug you have laid out for it, the gap between the machine and the pup is too great, the step too high, any number of things that will be evident if you observe. 

You don’t need to practice every day or even multiple times a day for a fearful pooch but you may include the entry game when doing other training or when play is going well and pup is happy, trusting and relaxed.  Timing can be as important as observation and persistence. Excited toy play could include getting pup to jump into machine to retrieve a toy or follow you or chase a treat.

Either way, controlling pup’s entry into transport is the issue, we want to stop enthusiastic entry at pace, and we are going to tempt entry with grace. 

Sometimes if pup checks on entry it is sufficient to calmly lead pup into the space with authority and firm resolve.  Pup will follow if it trusts and you are calm and a safe place to be.

For all urban pups some form of transport will be a part of their lives.

Not for one minute do I think transport is a problem for the majority of urban pooches, in most cases it will be just part of a normal day as that is how pup was introduced to travel from an early age.  When we first got her we put Bindi into a convertible sports car and drove 4 hours from breeder to our home.  She whined for the first hour on my wife’s lap then squirmed off and collapsed exhausted into the passenger foot well.  This was not the way she should have been introduced to her first machine obviously.  I do not claim to always have been informed, smart or even correct.

What I do know from experience though is calm travel behaviour is not the default and it is up to you as an owner to notice the signs of unease in your pup relating to travel and to gently implement these tools as appropriate.  I hope these tools will allow you to address behaviour before it becomes an issue for pup and a problem for you.   

 

Bindi Teaching ch 14

 

CHAPTER 14.

LEAVE ME ALONE

URBAN DESERTION

Dogs don’t need us.  At the very base of every canine soul is a world-wise cunning hunter and survivor.  Well, perhaps that is a bit overstating the case, we have sort of softened their survival instincts and made them a bit dependent on us.

The reality is, that left to their own devices they do have rather good survival and coping tools. This is a good thing as the demands of our urban existence means it is highly likely that we will need to leave our pups unattended and alone for some time periods.  

There is a thing called guilt and a thing called separation anxiety.  Both these things are not real to the pup and are only feelings, they are not real things.

GUILT.  

This is an emotion experienced by owners who feel the obligation of dog ownership includes permanent presence with the dog.  This is not only falsely based emotion but totally unrealistic. 

One of the greatest gifts we can give our pooch is time alone.  I have mentioned before safe places and calm times.  If a pup has been fed, has access to water, safe rest places, is given well timed toilet breaks or access to open space it will be happy to let you go about your business away for many many hours. 

If pup is without company then your time together becomes more valuable to both of you but requires no more from either of you than if you were together all day. 

Left alone, pup will either go into a peaceful doggy torpor until you return or will happily interact with its domain, amuse itself and rest. 

To teach this relaxed alone state you are simply required to leave the pup alone for short periods and then return, with a calm, even a nonchalant greeting and gentle praise. 

You should start doing this by leaving pup in a room and returning after a few seconds, quietly acknowledging its presence on your return and over time, vary the period you are apart always calmly acknowledging the pup on your return.  If a very young pup, you may like to leave your old sock or an old worn T-shirt with your scent in pup’s safe place.  Over time, you can leave the home without pup and again return at varying times repeating the above practices.  Pup will learn and understand that you will always return and it will be pleasant when you do.

Do not feel guilty about leaving pup alone, pups are fine with their own company and your absence provides a no-action-required time for pooch.  You have taken the time to show pup you always return, if pup is fed watered and toileted, has some optional activity for play provided then you have no reason for guilt. 

 

 

SEPARATION ANXIETY

Canines by nature will rest for more hours than they are active. If your absences are gradually increased in the daily routine, pup will not be anxious.  Urban dogs do adapt to routine and if the routine includes some peaceful quiet hours alone then that will be their normal urban routine.

My urban pooches have all been left home alone for at least 8 hours a day.  Their habits varied, the Great Danes just turned off and lazed away the day, my mongrel Shepherd used to visit the local kindergarten kids for morning tea, the retailers for conversation and occasional treats and then returned home to be there for my return.  I was unaware of this for years until the kindergarten kids grew up and started to greet my lad in the street with great familiarity so the story was exposed and the secret escape tunnel discovered. 

Every dog will have its own solution to your not being there, you may well be the most important thing in its life but, really, pup can cope if given the tools.

Even if you do leave pup alone it is not necessary to jamb hours of play, training and walks into the few remaining hours of your day.  What is critical is your morning and evening time together is enjoyable, rewarding and calm.  Most important is that you do not have separation anxiety worrying unnecessarily about your pup resting at home.  

I do accept that circumstances do not always allow for sufficient training time to pace the period of separation.  If a sudden requirement takes you away it is up to you as a loving owner to provide pup with some interim support.  That may be a neighbour, friend or family member providing human contact at the appropriate time.  Not always do things go to plan but we do have the tools and the ability to solve these problems.

Gentle persistence, calm caring and loving rewards will always resolve. 

      

Bindi Teaching ch 15

 

WHERE DID IT ALL GO RIGHT?

PUP IS ALWAYS RIGHT.

It is worth remembering, 

although sometimes you may doubt it, we are smarter than our dogs. 

We are more able to adjust our emotions than a dog.  

We are more important to our pups than they are to us 

and our reactions to their actions are always felt.

And, the biggest difference is that pup lives in the moment and we reflect on the past.  Pup does not remember why we were angry at a thing they have done, they just know at a deeper level they like to be with us more than they like being away from us.

I know none of these things seem evident at all times or even at any times but it is worth remembering, because at all times you are the superior being and pup needs to be in touch with a superior being to allow it to remain happy and calm and safe.  Safety is a lovely gift to be able to give pup and your pooch will truly be a happier little soul if you always remember you are more able to control your environment and emotions than pup can ever hope to be.

If you have a pup that is locked solid into coming when called in every instance, congratulations and hopefully this is because you are a happy safe place for pup to want to be.  Lovely.

If you have a pup that sometimes comes when called, when it has nothing better to do. Congratulations, your pup does come and does so because it likes you. 

On the occasions that it does not come on command, ensure when you are eventually reunited that the coming together is a pleasant thing for both you and pup.  It doesn’t matter if pup has been chasing, digging or eating something you don’t like.  It is fine to let pup know that you don’t approve of the action by stern reprimand while in the act or a sharp corrective lead pull away or your usual admonishment but that should pass quickly and as soon as pup looks to you or sits or any of the good things pup knows to do, praise immediately.  If pup then does something like walking beside, sitting or looking, then it has left what it was just doing, it is now being good and you must acknowledge that appropriately and clearly.  Being with you is a constant safe place and your role as safe place owner is to make that true all the time.

Pup is always right if it is with you, being with you feels like a good, calm, safe place to be. 

I started all this by saying it is almost impossible to chase and catch a dog.   While you are smarter than a dog, you are, in all likelihood not as cunning. This means that if you have the pup with you  or can see the pup as you read this, pup must at some time and on some level want you to be nearby, to guide it, physically or by command. So you are the owner of a pup that sometimes returns to you even if that return is the pup allowing you to find it and hold it.  The desire to have you near is better for pup than being away from you.

Pup will always do what feels best for it, they are selfish like that. Pup does not have the flexible emotional capacity we do to provide a constant happy place for itself so it reacts to stimuli and impulse.  Pup will always look for the safest, happiest or most excitingest place to be.  While there will be many times we will be frustrated, disappointed or upset at pup’s choices, we are smarter than pup, we can control our emotions.  We can adjust our demeanour to ensure when good pup behaviour eventually is displayed, we reward and calmly encourage it.  Pup will learn togetherness is best.

We can teach pooch our approval is a lovely and constantly available thing.  All pup has to do is be right.  All we have to do is reward pup for being right, no matter how fleeting that moment between other moments may be.  Everything is hung on this simple thing.  Be a safe place, be rewarding.

The result is calm happiness, for pup and us.

Bindi teaching. Urban Dog Training end

HAPPY ENDINGS

At the end of every happy pup is a waggy tail. 

A waggy tail is the best happy ending I could hope for you.  It is lovely to see a waggy tail when you enter a room, a happy wag in play and training and even a secretly peeked-at waggy tail when quietly amused by a toy or treat. 

I wish for you and your pooch many waggy tails and much happy-end enjoyment for you both.

Cheers!

Greg.

 

               

Sort of changed direction

Writing now.

It seems this site has been in rest for years, Not so my writing.   To be honest I have been doing stuff commercially and for fun in glossy magazines.  These are not for open display as they are commissioned works.

I am changing my life again in the next year so will be experiencing yet another country to live from and I will, I am sure, start writing short stories as the inspiration again returns. 
I re-read my Shorter Muse book to refresh my urges and realise it was good, but needed a professional re-edit or perhaps I'll give another idea yet another attempt from the get go.

I will see what the muse directs, its a fickle mistress my muse.  I will have to wait for her to vibrate me into action.

So this is a bit of a self excuse, a bit of and apology and in a way a trigger to get me being more creative now my property work is in hiatus, commercial writing demands expiring and my car infatuation is getting under control... I say that. I am loving track days and the fun of lost hours working on cars again....

Basically , life is going well, I've remained joyously married, busily content and sometimes an active happy life is not the best lubricant for creative writing.

I do now wonder how long it will be before I lodge another short story here... the heart is willing.

Lack of Recall

the second task set for Bedale savages 26/4

There were faces he knew he knew.  They were kind faces, faces he knew would know him, faces of people he thought he could have known for years. Faces of people who would be upset if he said anything that made them think he did not recognise them. 

But he should recognise them. He knew the faces. They were faces of people very important to him. He was sure some of the faces were faces of people he loved, he was probably related to some faces, or at the very least they were faces of people he really liked.  So many happy faces, faces communicating with each other and laughing. Faces calling out to other faces who were smiling back in a community of recognition.

Mike felt a mist was flowing in around him. The room was bright, white sheeting hung in silken folds from above.  The whole room was white, tablecloths, napkins, curtains, all white.  As he glanced around he was careful not to make eye contact, lest someone engaged with him.  It seemed familiar this room, safe, not like home but a very comfortable place to be.  A place he was sure was a nice place with nice things and nice people.  It was horribly scary.  He had no idea where he was, who the faces were, who he was, what was happening.  He tried not to scream then realised he was not able to scream, he had no control of his voice. 

He looked around him. He was standing, or leaning really, against an upright support which held garlands of white flowers. He was wearing a black suit.  There was noise.

The noise was words, he knew they made sense but he could not understand the words and he was hoping no one would ask him a question.  He was growing more scared now.  

The whole room was immediately familiar and unknown.  A chair was unoccupied beside him, draped in white cloth with a bow tied to each front leg.  It was a welcome support to him as he slid into it. He felt that his legs, his arms and his neck all needed to be thought about to make sure they each stayed where he wanted them to be.

A face looked directly at him and smiled. He did not want to upset it, so with a skill he didn’t know he had, he said “I’m sorry, I just have to go outside”

Not knowing how he did, he rose and walked through an opening behind him.  It was as if he knew the opening was there but he had no idea what was on the other side until he was there, in a field.  In the country.  Looking over pasture and valleys. 

Thick clover and tallish grasses waved in a breeze that tickled yellow and white meadow flowers to bobble in the green sward.  A crowded parking area was full of gleaming motors and a couple of large buses, and just to his right there was a bench taking advantage of the view.  He found himself sitting on the edge of it before he knew he had decided to sit.

The mental mist clouded rationality and prevented thought.  He was scared, more scared than he had ever been before.  But he could not remember before.  He could not remember himself.  He could not remember any thing that gave him a clue about where he was now. 

He wanted to cry, he wanted to scream, wanted to understand.  He wanted help.  The smiling face from before, from inside the white room, the face he didn’t want to upset, was beside him again, it was a face he felt very strongly about, positively strongly, he really, really didn’t want to upset the face, he liked the face.  It sat next to him quietly, looking out to the view. It made some words and held his hand.  He loved that hand.  It was a familiar hand.  He made the effort to make his hand hold the hand with equal tenderness.  The face became closer with a smile and words, it kissed his cheek.   

"Did it all get a bit much for you Honey?" It said.

And with that, there was a slit in the mist, a gap of clarity, an arrow shaft of recognition and tears burst from Mike’s eyes as he recognised his wife. 

"Oh you huge sook" she said, pulling out an ever present tissue from her sleeve, she wiped his cheeks and rested her head against his chest.   

"It is so beautiful here, I am glad they chose it." She said, happy to sit in silence for a while, on this  bench, where they had sat so many years before.  Before the girls were born, before they were in love, before.

The mist had suddenly cleared, Mike had a flood of absolute joy he could not express.  He knew where he was, who he was, what was going on.  He knew. He Knew. He wanted to cry out in relief but he knew it would have no anchor in the reality of anybody else here, nobody else knew he had fallen into that awful memory vacuum.  He didn’t want to worry Helen.  Not now, not here.  He was Okay.  He was Okay. Okay. He put his arm around his wife and a small sob and a sigh escaped his control.  Helen lent into him a bit more and they sat a while, enjoying their dissimilar moments.

Mike resolved to himself to go to the doctor on Monday.

"Next week" he said, "I’ll have something to tell you"

"Oh yes? And what would that be?" she mumbled

"I won’t know till next week, you’ll have to wait"  

And Mike quietly fell into being very scared again.

KOINOBORI - 鯉のぼり

(The first task set for the Bedale Savages, April 2017)

Kenichi, peeked sideways from behind the old cherry tree at the end of the Minato-ku back street.  He strained his eyes into the shadows between the old timber and tile houses and shops. The old buildings crowded the narrow pavements. He knew Sanai and Yoshi would be lying in wait for him.  He had to make it to Sanai’s father’s noodle shop to win.  Kenichi made a break from cover to dash across the alley.  Made his way behind his house from where he had a line of sight to the noodle shop.  Just as he made it to the side of his home his mother slid open the shoji screen to welcome his father back from the office.  Kenichi was torn. He could see Sanai and Yoshi hiding in ambush but looking the other way.  He could see the shop and a path to a clear win. But his father was home.  It was a hard choice but Kenichi slipped off his street shoes and took his place beside his mother to welcome his dad home with respect.  

The three kids had formed an unlikely friendship as their families were quite disparate.  Sanai was the eldest of the three, destined to take over her father’s soba business as the only child.  Yoshi was from Nagasaki but lived with his aunt who ran a small ryokan for travellers to Tokyo.  The kids plotted gentle pranks and in their innocent play and terrorising soon formed ties with neighbours and between the families.  Ties that grew strongest between the three of them.

The pre teen years were marked by school holidays, national and local festivals like the taiko drum parade where the three of them once performed at the head of the troupe.  Childhood bonds are most fickle though and as years passed, if it wasn’t for returning home for traditional events, the childhood friendship would likely have waned, as travel and workloads encroached to pull them apart.
 

Thankfully though, the regular local reunions added to their weave of common experiences.  Friendships were flavoured by some sexual exploration between them and spiced by their tales of trysts with others.   In time, Sanai did actually take over her father’s soba shop and was growing it into a packaged soba company.  Yoshi became a popular manga artist.  Kenichi, as his father decreed, completed business studies at Kansai university and was working his way up a tedious corporate ladder.  In an increasingly westernised world he was now known as Ken-san.

Each of them were career focussed, but the pressure to settle and have families became strongest for Sanai and Ken.  The continuation of the family business was the driver in Sanai’s case, and for Ken, the demand of his parents for grandchildren.  In seeking a partner Sanai had enjoyed the pleasures of a few but sought in vain for communion.  Ken had sown oats, with a fortunate lack of productivity, but with no real intent to harvest a relationship. A partner could well demand a focus away from his career.  Yoshi, the hedonist, rejoiced under no such pressures.

At the end of Golden Week 2010 the three had met up once again in their old back street haunt.  The timber homes and shops of their childhood were now Homat apartments with shop front businesses.  The three met in a particular bar and were sitting relaxed, as among friends, Kenichi and Sanai's backs were to the window through which could be seen a red lantern marked in katakana as ‘Yoshi’s’.  The bar though was Yoshi's aunt’s, and named in honour of its slightly famous and occasional client.  Today, Yoshi sat opposite the others looking out, making his aunt most pleased.  It was the Shichi go san week and the bright Koinobori of local families were flying from balconies in the dank city breeze. 

‘You know,’ he mused,  ‘I was jealous of you two for having your family flags when we were kids’. 

Kenichi and Sanai followed his gaze out the window to see the brightly coloured carp and dragons moving slowly with the pulse of street air.

 ‘Yeah, said Kenichi, ‘my dad got me one so it nearly matched the size of his, I remember that’....  ‘But I never thought.  Your aunt never flew one for you did she?’

‘Nah, out of respect for my dead parents I suppose’

‘Oh, Yoshi, you must have felt a poor little thing,’ Sanai said with genuine feeling.

‘Well, I’m over it, but, yeah, I felt left out, the only one without a flag.’

‘I can imagine’ said Sanai ‘ I got really excited to see mine flying….Actually, funny, I was jealous too... Ken’s family had lots of flags, and mine, just the pink one for me’

Kenichi winced ‘Being the ichi-ban son is nothing to be jealous of.’

‘Try being an only child’ ..

‘Gawd, give it a rest you two, I was just saying...’

‘Okay.' 'Yeah, sorry’ chimed Sanai and Ken

‘So how are your love lives?’ asked Yoshi knowing the response.

Moans of derision and despair were followed with banter and laughs prior to a departure into a Roppongi night that was probably best forgotten.

As Ken reflected now, seven years on, it was that cocktail fuelled night in 2010 that was the start of the romance.  It was not an intended or even dreamt of connection they made.  But over the next few years, as the trio met up for their Tokyo family duties, the friendship turned stronger and to a genuine love. 

Life always throws curved balls and while Sanai desperately wanted a family the fact that Ken seemed unable to sire, and her soba business took her away so much, the unfulfilled ache in both Ken and Sanai had dragged at them.  Yoshi remained blissfully free of paternal urge but was compassionate to his two friend’s need.

Now it was 2017, Golden Week, the happy couple had moved to Nagasaki, a complete change from the previous year’s reunion where the union had been proclaimed.   Ken proudly hoisted a long pole with its spinning disk, windsocks of dragon tails, two large black koi, one pink, and a bright blue tiddler for their baby boy.   The wind filled the fish flags and Sanai giggled.

‘Well, that’s going to puzzle the neighbours’

‘Nah, they all know us.’ said Yoshi ‘And there is the four of us now.  Family.’ and he gave his partner a long, loving kiss. 

‘Oh, don’t do that Yosh’ said Ken, enjoying the embrace, ‘Sanai will get jealous.’     

Things of Wonder

Things of wonder

I wonder if people know the Kangaroo and Emu were chosen for the Arms because neither can take a step backwards.

I wonder about the practice of releasing on bail, mentally unstable individuals who have a string of offences. I wonder if that process needs review.

I wonder about the attitude of an individual’s rights being equally applied to all.

I wonder if asylum refugees should be provided opportunity to re-offend the laws and morality of the land that allows them to remain in the land they chose to nurture them.

I am in wonder at the generosity of spirit, inclusiveness and the understanding of #ILLRIDEWITHYOU.

I am in wonder at the depth of openhearted support that flows from true Australians, from every walk of life. 

I wonder too, at the proven professionalism and effectiveness of the authorities we give power to.

I wonder at the bravery of a café manager and of a young barrister who attempt to protect others, at their own ultimate cost.

I am in awe from a distance. 

I am there in my sorrow and respect.

A day in the Pennines

The People You Meet...

Peel Tower, Ramsbottom, Lancashire U.K.

The road is more of a worn remnant track. The climb a steady haul up from the town centre where the steam trains drag tourists in from Manchester for a day in the foothills of the Pennines. It was our first visit to this place and we had been encouraged to take the challenge and walk to the tower. The brochure at the library said the tower was built to remember a local boy made good. If you call twice becoming a Victorian-age prime minister a good thing.  It helps to have come from the right family stock.  The day was typically overcast and the view limited but occasionally rewarded us with steam trails striping the valley as the trains whistled their entry into and puffed their way out of tunnels.

We passed him mid way way up, his rain soaked dog ignored as it faithfully carried a much chewed stick. The man’s drab face was down cast, absorbed in a depth of consciousness unfathomable to us.  I’d guess he was in his mid thirties, a physique reflecting past athleticism well wrapped against the November bleakness.  He blankly passed by us ignoring my nodded greeting and her hellos. Our cheery enquiry to the dog as to its enjoyment of the stick was ignored by both man and beast as they stoically trudged on their way. We glanced at each other in mute affront. We were used to the open Yorkshire ways of walkers and this Lancastrian snub was unexpected. Why would you choose to walk these scenic paths and ignore the vista, not be involved in the stimulation of the climb or acknowledge the happy banter of the people you passed en route?

Our target was the landmark tower, and we proceeded on our way, unused to the exertion we unwittingly restricted our conversation and I began to wonder as to the man’s demeanour.  A glumness had surrounded his plodding gate, there seemed no expectation from his hound that the master would respond, the stick was carried in habit rather than anticipation. And that man’s numb slog from the tower, his head held down , a mind otherwise absorbed. I suspected a depression within. 

Peel Tower had fallen to decrepitude, three times in fact, since its prolific and feted construction. Its roof and stairway has rotted and been replaced twice by wealthy politicised patrons and once by 20th century community obligation.  Modern times sees it again a falling, neglected, a future ruin sealed from access lest perchance people throw themselves from its mighty height. It now stands as a crumbling unintentional phallic reminder of its historic past.

The climb was arduous but we managed the higher crest and absorbed the vista around all compass points in a respectful silence, occasionally pointing to features as the clouds revealed further expanses.
Again he walked by us.
Again he ignored our politeness.
Again the bedraggled mutt snubbed our entreaty for affection.
Again his head down and oblivious, emotionally dumb and paying no attention to his surrounds. It was well, I thought, the tower was sealed. My heart felt for the loyalty of the hound, committed to endlessly trail a thankless leader.

The Shoulder of Mutton pub was so named from an ancient trial where a mighty greased pole was set up to be scaled, the victor obtaining a joint of meat skewered at its summit.  So said the menu sheet from which we selected our luncheon while sipping our well earned libations.   It was here we saw him again, his dog, sans stick, lay at his foot beneath his table. The man remained downcast, head dipped, involved in a secret depth. We avoided making another greeting comment, and lowered our cheery banter.  His mood pervaded our sense of accomplishment and I made to move from our choice of table. It was then she prodded me and directed me to look towards him.  He had lifted his gaze and was reaching down to his pet, tousling the beast’s ears and smiling in the gormless way of a besotted master into his charge's face. A smart phone screen slowly faded to black on the table next to him as his other hand removed earphones,  the thump of a contented tail beat a tattoo on the old oak floor.